Day 30: Attraction and a Kind Act

So I’ve been reading more about masculine energy versus feminine energy and it’s really interesting stuff.

Remember that we all have both inside of us.

Attraction in love works very much like two magnets.  If the negative and the positive come together – they attract.  But if a positive and a positive or a negative and a negative come together they repel each other.

It’s the same with relationships.  If someone shows up in masculine energy and another shows up in feminine energy – they will be attracted to each other.

But if a man shows up with masculine energy and a woman who is with him – shifts into her masculine energy – they may repel each other.

Even in homosexual couples – you will notice that one partner usually shows up with more masculine energy and the other more feminine – that’s just how attraction works.

(From what I’m reading at least)

I was interested in this because when I am in a business setting, I do show up with quite a bit of masculine energy.  I am one of the boys at work.  I take charge and often lead – I am a warrior girl!

I sometimes have a hard time dancing because I don’t follow very well.  I am a natural leader and it is probably coming from some masculine energy.

Someone who knows me from work, recommended that I read this book…  “It’s a Guy Thing”  – because it may play into whether or not certain men are attracted to me.

I can be a powerful woman at times and that energy may repel some men.  But I can also be very soft and feminine too.  I can show up very loving, sweet and warm.  I can slip between these two energies at almost any time.

Tammy has a lot of masculine energy too.  In her first marriage she was kinda “the man” in some ways.  She was the aggressor in sex and “wore the pants” to some degree.

This got me looking back at my relationships.  I was the one who paid all the bills, carried most of the financial responsibility and initiated sex.  I often “wore the pants”.  But at times I was also the nurturer and the source of softness, compassion and love.

My husband definitely had a feminine energy side too.  He was the main nurturer of his son.  He was the one who cared for the baby most of the time.  I think that is why our energies fit together.

I wonder if there were times that we were both showing up in masculine energy though and maybe we repelled each other.  Is that part of what didn’t work?   Hmmmm…

So what have I learned from this?

I have no idea.

But it’s interesting.

I also want to thank the gentleman who bought Tammy and I dinner last night at Fiddlers Elbow…

When we were done eating, the waiter came and told us that a man (who wished to remain anonymous) had paid for our meal – but said not to tell us until after he had left.

That was so kind!

Thank you so much for your random act of kindness.

Day 30: Redneck Sports Bra

This photo was sent in by my good friend Scott Lang.

I had to post it on the blog in honor of todays bra theme!

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Yes – it’s men’s underwear!

They cut out the crotch for a head hole.

Day 30: The Miracle Bra

So Tammy has been telling me about these new “miracle bras” at Victoria’s Secret that will take you up two whole cup sizes.

She bought some and loves them.  She likes the fact that guys keep looking at her chest when they talk to her – though those guys are in for a big surprise when they find out those babies go into a drawer at night.

She thought, since I’m a single girl now, I should try them.

What the heck…  I needed some new bras… so I went down to Victoria’s Secret to try some on.

Come to find out… these aren’t bras… they’re rubber boobs.

I thought I looked okay at first until I decided to put my shirt back on and see how they’d look with clothes on…

I’ve never laughed so hard in my life!

(Except for yesterday when we got locked in Gold’s Gym of course.)

I looked so ridiculous!

I looked like I’d shoved two balloons down my shirt.

If I had gone into work with those puppies on, the guys would have fallen off their chairs – but not in a good way – they’d have been laughing at me!

I know that would have made a great blog post story – but I have to draw a line at being humiliated on purpose just for material.

(The Gold’s Gym thing wasn’t on purpose!)

In the end I just bought the regular push up bras – in case you were wondering.

This got me talking to my 14 year old daughter about having small boobs vs. large boobs.  She is very small for her age and a little slow developing hers.  She wishes the darn things would grow!   She heard someone at school say the following and it really hurt her feelings…

Girls are like rocks…   the flat ones get skipped.

Why is it from an early age we have insecurities about our boobs?   Girls with big boobs are embarrassed – girls with small boob are embarrassed.   We always think we aren’t good enough and that we have to be different to be “right.”

As a life coach, I encourage you all to be comfortable with who you are, as you are.

Don’t worry so much about whether a guy likes you.  If he’s meant to like you he will, if he’s not, he won’t and either way – you’re okay!

You are right on track to find the love of your life at exactly the right time your supposed to find him.   There is nothing to be worried about.

If a guy doesn’t like you… it’s not because you aren’t good enough.

It’s just because he wasn’t the right guy.

When you find the right guy… I promise you, he’s gonna like your boobs exactly as they are.

The funny thing about this story about boobs – is that I just got a call from a friend who wants me and Tammy to write and record a radio commercial for a breast enhancement product…  how’s that for a coincidence.

We will let you know how it goes.

I’ll even post the commercial on the blog when it’s done – it ought to be funny !

Day 28: Locked in the Gym – Half Naked!

Tammy and I got locked in Gold’s Gym…  half  naked… in the dark.

I couldn’t even make this stuff up if I tried.

We decided to go workout today since we both have new memberships at Gold’s Gym.

(Now you must understand that Tammy and I are trouble alone, but together we are a disaster waiting to happen.)

Since we are new to the gym,  one of the problems is that we have no idea how to use most of these machines.

We are totally confused trying to figure out how any of these contraptions even work.

You can see why this whole thing was doomed from the start.

So Tammy asked a couple of nice younger men to show us which machines would help us tone up our butts.

They had a lot of ideas on the subject…  but (no pun intended)… in the end… recommended two specific machines for butt toning.

The first was the leg press.  The first thing I noticed on this machine was the huge round weights on it.

They looked really heavy.

But then I noticed a 100 lbs sign on the side of the weight.

“No problem Tam, when I used to do the leg press at the rec center I could do 110 lbs.  So it looks heavy, but I think we can do this.”

She jumped up there and attempted to push.

Nothing happened – it didn’t budge.

So I tried – again nothing happened.

Huh?   “Is this thing even working?  Does it have a lock?”

The guys were watching us this whole time – and now they were laughing their heads off.

Finally they came over and explained to us that there were two of those big round things – one on each side – which meant 200 lbs. not 100 lbs.

“Oh!”

Okay we have to be the dumbest women ever.

Next they recommended a Glutes machine with cords that you put around your ankle and then push your leg backwards – working your butt.  We noticed that there were two handles and cords on this one -so we thought we could do this machine together.

(We are so dumb it is cracking me up to even write this!  I can’t see through the tears from laughing so hard – my tummy hurts!)

So here we are standing right next to each other each with a cord around one leg – doing our little butt exercises together.

The guys came back…

This time they couldn’t even breath for laughing at us.

“Ladies, you can’t do that machine together.  Its a one person at a time machine.”

“Why?” we said.

Apparently both cords are attached to the same set of weights.  So we were lifting it together – which might have explained why it was so easy.

Yes – we are the dumbest girls ever.

This time the guys were laughing so hard, they were in tears.

Glad we came to entertain you all!

In the end…

Tam and I decided that our favorite machine at the dang gym…

… is the vending machine!

It’s the only one we know how to use correctly.

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After that, we decided to just hit the locker room for a little soak in the jacuzzi.

We put on our skimpy swimsuits (because this was a women only jacuzzi)  and climbed in for a relaxing soak.

Its was heaven… we were finally enjoying ourselves and in no hurry to get out…

When all of a sudden the lights went out.

The locker room had no windows so we were in pitch dark!

“Oh my gosh – is it a black out?

You don’t think they closed the gym do you?

When we came in here – the gym was full of people and it hasn’t been that long.

What if they lock the doors and we can’t get out?

What if they lock us in here?”

We jumped out and wrapped a towel around our chests… then I proceeded to run through the dark gym yelling…

“Help, wait a minute, is anyone here?

Hello!  Anyone?”

Help, Help – please don’t lock the doors!

Is anyone here?”

The place was empty.

We were alone – in the dark – half naked!

We started freaking out a little – at least I was.

Tammy was laughing so hard so couldn’t even walk, about how I was gonna have to write about this on the blog!

The place was empty and really dark.

I was soaking wet and I was also getting worried about how this could play out.

Were we gonna have to spend the night here?

If we tried to get out, would it trigger the burglar alarm and the police would come and arrest us for breaking out of the gym – in swimsuits?

We couldn’t get dressed because our clothes were in lockers, by the way – with combinations that we could not see in the dark!

I couldn’t find a damn light switch anywhere!

We would look like total idiots.

If we hadn’t proven how stupid we are before this – having the cops come arrest us for breaking out of the gym, would earn us the title of dumbest women ever – once and for all.

Fortunately, I found the guy in charge of locking up, just in the nick of time as he was walking away from the front door.

He was quite surprised to see two half naked women running around in the dark screaming and pounding on the windows.

He turned the lights back on so we could see to get dressed which was very nice…

but we didn’t appreciate the laughing and head shaking.

Are we the only ones this stuff happens to?

Day 27: How to find a real man

The other day I found a present on my door step…  with no card or note attached.

I wasn’t sure who it was for…    so I decided I better just open it.

Inside was “Mr. Right” in a box.

Someone had given me what I really wanted for Christmas!

A man!

I have never laughed so hard in my life.

I removed the little man from the box and started to read the instruction book –

( No he isn’t a sex toy!  Get your mind out of the gutter.)

He is more like a little barbie doll man and when you squeeze him he says things like…

“Your looking so good babe, have you lost weight!”

“Want to go shoe shopping sweetie – my treat?”

“As always, your right honey.”

He seems to be the perfect man…  except that he is missing a few things…  that a real man has.

So the author included a chapter for us single ladies – on how to find a real man.

This was the most interesting part of the little book and I want to share with you all what it said…

It’s brutal out there, especially if you’re a single woman in your 40’s, you often feel like it’s the end of the smorgasbord.  And all that’s left are the guys that nobody wanted – the guys who are like the human equivalent of that crusty stuff stuck to the edges of the pan when all the foods gone.

But don’t give up. Instead of seeing your dating disasters as ‘dating disasters” start seeing them as “experience” and “being one man closer to the man who finally closes the soul-mate deal.”

(Sounds just like my sales training!)

I believe there are real, living, breathing – albeit oft times belching – non-bionic – Mr. Right’s out there to be found.  And I believe that in time you’ll find one.

After all nature abhors a vacuum – almost as much as I hate to vacuum.

To help you fill this vacuum and find a man who will sweep you off your feet… (hmm that’s a lot of cleaning metaphors but perhaps these are appropriate because both searching for a man and cleaning can be equally drudgerous. But I digress.)

As I was saying here are some rules for finding Mr. Right…

1) Burn that book of rules.

I know a lot of women say the way to catch a man is to play the game.  Not me.  Unless it’s naked twister and then I’m all over it.  But I believe if you use game-playing bait, you lure in game-playing fish.  However, if you use truth and open communication bait – you will get truth and open communication fish.

2) You must get out there.

You must search willy nilly for a real Mr. Right.  Go to parties, museums, the park etc.  Remember that you won’t meet men sitting around your house.

3) Look out for large red flags waving in your face.

I think that all dating should be called blind dating and instead of saying “I’m seeing Harry” we should be more honest and say ‘I’m dimly viewing who I think Harry is.”  In other words – Open your eyes girlfriend!

Learn to trust your gut feelings.  Learn how to get out of bad relationships fast.  I know of what I speaketh.  I’m not only speaketh-ing from my own foolish errors but also as a stock brokers daughter.

The way you succeed in the stock market is the very same way to succeed in the love market.  Don’t wait for things to totally plummet to get out.  The sooner you get out, the lesser the damage, and the sooner you can invest in something else.

My motto:  It’s better to have loved and lost – than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.

4) Most importantly, don’t blame yourself for every bad date or bad relationship.

Remember it’s not always your fault.  After all what’s not to love and desire about you?  Your totally adorable just as you are.  If someone doesn’t like you, or call you again – it’s just because it wasn’t your Mr. Right yet.  Be glad that you got that one out of the way – so there is room for the right, Mr. Right to show up.

The author of this wisdom, Karen Salansohn is also the author of…

I Don’t Need Children I Date Them

Even God is Single so give me a Break

and How to make your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less

(I gotta get these books!)

Day 26: Tonight there are tears

The real meaning of Christmas hit us hard today as we learned of the passing of our neighbor Kelly Stoker.

He passed away Christmas eve in a  motorcycle accident.   Bishop Kelly Stoker was an amazing person, doctor, father and husband.  His son Jeff has been a good friend to my Mike – we love this family so much – as did everyone in our community.  My heart aches for Kim and her children tonight.

We can’t believe how suddenly someone you love can be gone.

We are so grateful for our faith in Jesus Christ and the best Christmas Present ever given – the knowledge that there is life after death.  We will see those we love again.  We are overflowing with emotion tonight because of our love for our friends.

I know the pain that I have experienced this year in losing my husband to divorce and I can only imagine the pain Kim is feeling – losing her best friend and companion.   Facing the rest of her life without him – it’s breaking my heart because in a small way I understand her pain this Christmas.

Please remember them in your prayers.

Give those you love an extra big hug tonight!

Day 26: Christmas Day

Merry Christmas  –

It has actually been pretty merry!  I’m surprised.  I only cried once.

My ex sent me a “Merry Christmas” text message and I lost it for a minute.  I would rather he not contact me yet, it’s still a little too painful – but for the most part – it’s really been fun.

Tammy and I had a very very fun yet unconventional Christmas Eve though…

We started at the gym for a quick workout, then went for pedicures and some much deserved pampering.

Then we had a really nice dinner at the Oyster Bar.

A “thanks” goes out to the nice gentlemen who entertained us – or I guess really we entertained them with our crazy stories.  Thanks so much to the “cougar guy” at Market Street who fixed that chocolate cake exactly how I like it.

That chocolate cake made my Christmas merrier right there.

Then we met some other single friends to hang out.   But Justin you made the night – you are so much fun – I am so grateful to have you in my life J.  Your the best – and you do smell so good – all the ladies agree!

We also made friends with young Nate and Andy (who was having a Happy Birthday)  and their friends who talked me into singing Karaoke.  “It’s my Life” by Bon Jovi was a very appropriate song choice, don’t you think.

We also played pool and laughed our heads off.  I am officially the worst pool player ever – but somehow I still manage to win most of the time.  It’s freaky.

Like I said, it was a very unconventional Christmas eve.

Not sure I’d do it again…  but breaking from tradition kept me from dwelling in the past and sitting home alone would have been torture.

I would absolutely rather be at home by the fire snuggling with that special someone –

But I’m gonna keep making lemonade out of these damn lemons no matter what.

Christmas morning with the kids was wonderful – I have the best kids on earth.

My kids are loving Christmas – divorce mean they basically get two Christmas’s – Two stockings and an obscene amount of presents.  Needless to say they are happy kids today.

Abby gave me the best gift ever…   a coupon book that will get me 4 nights of dish washing, 3 foot massages  and 3 days of no whining.

I’m not sure that’s possible – but here’s hoping.

Day 25: Christmas Eve

I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas Eve.

I know there are many of you who are also finding Christmas to be a little different and a little lonely this year.

You may be like Tammy and I who are spending Christmas eve together going out to dinner, instead of being home with our kids.

It seems so weird to me.  So wrong.  But we are determined to stay positive and have some fun.

It’s weird not to have someone I love to share the holidays with.  No one to buy presents for and to snuggle in front of the fire with.

I loved that stuff.  Dang it.

But I’m determined not to cry today.

I am going to celebrate this day with love and trust.

I’ll let you know how our crazy unorthodox Christmas Eve turns out –

Hope you have a wonderful one!

Love,

Kim

Day 25: Learning to Flirt

I actually bought a book on flirting.

Is that pathetic?

It’s called,  “How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace”  by Susan Rabin

Yes – it’s pathetic – but the truth is, I’m a little rusty in this department.

My 14 year old daughter wants to read it with me too.  She wants to catch the attention of a cute boy at school and is hoping to learn how.

Apparently the boys at school think she is “cute” but they don’t see her as “hot.”  She wants to be “hot”.   I personally like “cute” and I don’t like the boys after my daughter – but she is almost 15, so I guess I have to get on board with it.

I will be filling you in periodically on what we are learning about flirting.

Last night we read about the first 5 guidelines to flirting.

#1 – Get out of your house. Your never going to meet people if you stay at home. You have to get out.  Everywhere you go you have opportunites to meet new people.  The bakery, the library, the grocery store are all great places to practice flirting.

#2 – Go to interesting places. Pursue clubs, Meet up groups or activities where people who are interested in the same things you are might be.  Ski lift lines are a great place to meet people – it’s the only place that you can yell “single” and no one thinks your weird. And you get to keep someone’s undivided attention for the 15 minute ride up.

#3 – Keep your eyes open. Look for people you often cross paths with.  Think of a creative way to start a conversation with them.  Be friendly and say hi to everyone you meet.  Chance encounters sometimes need a little strategy to help them along.  If a meeting isn’t happening – make it happen.

#4 – Have a flirting prop. Carry an interesting book or wear a unique piece of clothing that people may ask you about.  You can use anything that prompts curiosity and questions.

#5 – Be open to advances. It takes a lot of courage for someone to approach you – make it easy on them and respond positively back – unless your not interested.

I blew it already – Read below and you’ll understand why I need the dang book.

I was at The Grand America the other night for a party and I walked past the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen in my life – I smiled and said Hi – but that’s all.

Now I wish I’d been bolder and thought of some way to talk to him.  I should have gone for it!

I’m not going to do that again.  Starting today I am going to be bolder.  I can do this.  I’m very comfortable with myself and pretty fearless.

Next time I’m going to talk to the handsome guy.

I am going to take risks!

I can do this.

I think.

Day 24: Internet Romance

Merry Christmas Everybody!

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Not what I had in mind when I bought the mistletoe.

This whole internet dating thing is a huge disappointment!

I can’t believe I am paying for this service.

I’m paying for the privilege of receiving emails from guys my dad’s age -who live in other states – who I would never date!

There has to be a better way!

Someone tell me how a girl can meet a nice guy in real life?

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Here’s another mistletoe story for you…

Tammy’s unattractive, fat, (married), client, after his haircut asked where the mistletoe was so he could give her a kiss.

She said, “Sorry dude, don’t have any.”

He grabbed her and kissed her anyway!

What’s up with that?

Gross!

I would ‘a slapped him.

Day 23: It’s a Guy Thing

A guy recently told me to read the book “It’s a Guy Thing – An Owners Manual for Women“ by David Deida

I am going to share, on the blog, many of the things I am learning about MEN from this book.

So here is the lesson for today…

Masculine energy is very different from feminine energy… though we all have both in us.

We women need to understand masculine energy and how it shows up.

We need to understand it so we don’t take things too personally when it does.

Today I learned that masculine energy is very focused and it is focused on only one thing at a time.

Women can’t understand this because we focus on a lot of things at the same time.   We can watch TV and hear them tell us something.  Men can’t hear a thing you say… when their watching TV.

If they are having relationship problems but they take the day off to go fishing – they won’t think about the relationship while fishing.  This is fish time!   A woman would spend the whole time fishing and stewing about the relationship at the same time.

For women (or men functioning in their feminine energy) the intimate relationship we are in touches every moment of our life.  We are constantly thinking about our guy at the same time we are doing anything.  He is always in our thoughts.  Men are not like this.

When they are doing other things – they aren’t thinking about us.

Let me give you an example:   Tammy had a date with a really great guy a few weeks ago.  They really hit it off and he seemed to like her, but he has never called.   His friends have told us he really likes her – but he is very busy with and focused on his work and moving to a new home.   They told her not to take it personally.  His focus is just not on dating at this moment.

So maybe: If a man temporarily forgets about you – it’s not always personal.

It may not mean anything except that he’s functioning in his masculine energy.

Though sometimes it also might mean…  that he’s just not that into you.

Like the movie …

Dang it.

What does it mean that I haven’t heard from the cute guy I went out with last Saturday?

I keep thinking about that kiss while I’m doing other things.

Dang it.

I’m not sure we’re learning anything yet!

Day 23: Could you date Santa?

Merry Christmas Everyone!  Don’t you just love happy people!

I don’t want to date Santa he’s a little too jolly – but I sure want to find someone who is easy going, emotionally mature and positive about life.

So it turns out that Tammy and I don’t have kids on Christmas eve.  What can two single girls do on such a night?  Any suggestions?

Day 22: All I want for Christmas…

Day 21: The First Date

Saturday night was my first real date since the divorce.

I had a great time – and yes, I got kissed!

(You did really good CH – Had you watched the instructional videos?)

The good news is….

There is fun after a heartbreaking divorce!

I can do this.  I feel better about life.

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Do you know what is really fun?

The moment when a guy holds your hand the first time….

then the moment when he first puts his hand on your knee…

and the fact that holding hands and touching knees gets you all tingly…

then it gets really fun when he asks if it’s okay to kiss you…

and you say…  “I’ve been wanting you to all night.”

That is really fun!

Day 20: Mopping Slippers

Last night Justin and I went to a Christmas party at Cody’s house.

(Well Justin was already there because he’s the basement guy:-)

The highlight of the evening was they played that white elephant game where you either open a present or take a present away from someone else.

The good news is…  I got the mopping slippers.

They all thought I was crazy because I actually really wanted these.

I think it’s the best idea ever!

So today’s activity…

Turn the music up loud…

Put some pine-sol on the floor…

and DANCE it clean!!!

You better believe I’m seriously gonna do it.

Day 19: Bathroom Problems

I didn’t have the problems – but my friends Justin and Nick got thrown under the bus.

Sometimes when people come into our office for a presentation they bring their kids.  Friday night a nice couple came in and brought their son who was seriously ADD. We had to watch the kid while his parents went into a meeting.

Let me tell you, this 8 year old kid was all over the place and into everything.  He was pretty much driving all of us crazy.

Then he told me that he needed to go to the bathroom.

I wasn’t going to take him to the men’s room.

So I asked Nick to do it.

Justin, it turns out, was already in there.

Nick walked the kid to the john and then opted to stay out in the hall and wait.  Next thing Justin hears is…

“Please don’t hurt,   please don’t hurt,    please,    please don’t hurt,   please don’t hurt,  no,  no ..oh no, no , no  it’s hurting,   it’s hurting,   it’s hurting!   Nick!…   Nick!   Nick!    Help me Nick!”

At this point Justin is laughing so hard he can’t breathe.

Nick sticks his head in the door and says, “What!”

“Nick, I have a rash on my B-U-T-T-C-R-A-C-K!”

There a moment of silence as Nick tries to figure out what he is supposed to do about this.

Justin has now stopped breathing and is on the floor he is laughing so hard.

All Nick can say is… “T- M- I  kid – way too much information!”

Sorry guys!

Day 17: I’m too nice – that’s the problem.

Another crazy thing happened today as I was leaving the gym.   A 90 year old man was standing by my car waiting for me.

No, not to date me.

He had hit my car, my NEW toyota Prius when he was pulling his huge old car the size of an air craft carrier, into the parking spot space next to me.  It wasn’t a dent – but a decent scratch on the back panel.

The old guy was beside himself, almost in tears.  He explained to me that if I filed a claim with his insurance company, he would lose his license (which I’m thinking may be the right thing for the community).   But he asked if there was anyway he could just pay me for the damage he’d done.

Then he asked me how much I thought it would take to fix it.

This is a tough one for us girls.  How the heck would we know that?

He offered me $60. which I knew would be way too low.   But he looked like he was about to cry.   I told him that wouldn’t be enough.  He was crushed and so upset.

Then he offered $100. but said that was all he could give me.

I probably shouldn’t have, but I took the money and told him Merry Christmas!

Am I the biggest softy ever?

Maybe should have been tougher – but it’s Christmas and the old guy was about to cry.

Maybe it’s the universes revenge for the time I cried…  and got out of a speeding ticket.

Day 17: A Perfect First Kiss

No – I didn’t get one yet!

Tammy and I want to explain once and for all – what a woman wants in a first kiss.

Merry Christmas guys!

Okay I admit it…  more of this is coming from Tammy, because it’s been a little while for me.  But I have been kissed before… a long time ago…  and I know what I like, especially in a first kiss.

My first, first kiss experience happened about a week before I turned sixteen.  My friend SB decided that it was really lame to be “sweet sixteen”.  So he talked me into letting him kiss me – so I wouldn’t be lame.  (Yes, I actually fell for this.)

The thing is – it was the worst first kiss ever.  (Sorry SB) But you jumped right in and gave me a tonsillectomy.  It was slobbery and not the least bit romantic.  I walked home very disappointed.

Though (JM) another cute guy, did make up for that, by doing it right later that year.

Here is our advice for a great first kiss:

Women like a first kiss to be very slow, even delay the actually kiss a bit.  Take your time and get real close but hold off. Let the romantic energy build.  Tease us a bit.  Make us want it.  Then kiss us softly at first…  and after a while you can get more passionate.

Your lips should be soft and loose guys – not tight lipped and not slobbery.

You may want to leave us with just some of those teasing soft kisses and make us think about wanting more for a few days.  That drives us crazy… in a good way.  Then next time do the same thing again – except now you can get more passionate even a little rough.  Yes we like that.  Does that make sense?

(Tammy “the expert”  did approve these instructions)

Want some examples?

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No – We’re not gonna kiss you!

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Watch the YouTube videos below.

This will help you to understand why girls like Twilight.

Twilight Kiss
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Pretty Woman Kiss

Warning:  This one is pretty steamy!

Day 16: What are you hiding?

Tammy and I both had dates yesterday.

(Yes, this was my first date since the divorce – and no -there was no kissing.)

When I arrived at the restaurant for my lunch date, I was shocked to find someone much older than I was expecting.   This sweet guy had posted a picture on his profile that was taken about 10 years ago, when he was much much younger.

He was a very nice guy but not at all what I expected.  I kinda felt fooled.

Can I set the record straight right now guys…  this doesn’t work.

Be who you currently are!

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Tammy’s date was even funnier…

When she arrived at the very fancy restaurant for dinner…  her date was wearing a really nice suit, dressy expensive shoes and an old baseball hat.

She couldn’t help but think… “This is weird, it doesn’t make any sense that he is wearing that hat.”

Half way through the meal he finally told her the truth.

He just had hair plugs put in and he had to protect them.

He asked Tam if she wanted to see them…

but she declined the offer.

Dating at this age is so funny – I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Day 15: Spelling counts and kissing doesn’t?

Guys – use spell check before you write us.

Don’t say…

… that you “love the gaspel of Jesus Christ”.

… that you are “not the gelious type”.

… that you “love a nice stake dinner”.

and if you’re a pilot don’t tell us that you “love to fly your plain”.

(These were taken from actual emails and internet profiles.)

To be totally honest, spelling doesn’t turn me off that much,  if you’re handsome and nice!  It’s just kinda funny.

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Now let’s talk about kissing…

This is a weird one for someone who is just recently single again, like me.

See, when you’re married and you make out or kiss someone, it means something.  I kissed my husband a lot because I was crazy in love with him.  I wouldn’t have dreamed of kissing anyone else because it would have meant something.

Yet, single people (from what I am hearing) don’t think kissing means as much as I do.  It’s just a great fun way to spend an evening or day or hour or whatever.

This messed me up last time I was single because a guy would take me out and seem to really like me and yes, make out with me.   I thought that meant something like – “he must really like me”.   Then I would never hear from him again and that would hurt.  Big Time!

But from what I’m hearing I may need to change my attitude about it.  I am being told that I need to see kissing as a fun activity and nothing more.  Like play cards… only more fun?   Is that right?  Do you all agree with that?

I’m not really sure – but I’ll let you know when I get my first kiss as a newly single girl.

Any volunteers?